Thursday, August 1, 2013

One last time

Yesterday we turned in the keys to Dad's apartment.  We walked around inside the empty neutral shell of what was once a vibrant, musical, and happy home.  Filled  with children's toys, comfortable furnishings, pictures of family, and many pictures drawn lovingly by busy granddaughters as they played over the years at Papa's house, laughing, giggling, cooking and having joyful fun.  A huge log cabin apartment building constructed for little pocket sized dolls by Papa and his granddaughter, desk name tags from the days when they played school in his office, pot holders and aprons worn by budding cooks in his kitchen eager to show Mommy and Daddy their latest creations.... multitudes of photo's were taken before all of these things, these things that symbolize a beautiful loving life had to be carefully taken down off the walls, packed away and moved.  I wanted so badly to preserve them forever just where they were but a picture will have to do.  The luxury of simply unlocking his apartment door whenever I missed him and being surrounded by his things just as they were I do not have.  I do however have the luxury of photo's, memories, and the sweet memories from little girls about all the fun times they had with their Papa.  Memories that mirror mine of a little girl and her Daddy.  Memories that come flooding back as we walk one last time through that empty neutral apartment.


Rose said...

A big cyber hug to you Amy.

Deezy said...

Be gentle on yourself as you go through this grief Amy. XX

Donna said...

I am so sorry,Amy. Though I still have my Mom ( Dad passed in 1990),I have an understanding of how you feel about the house. She just sold our family home,and I feel the same way as you. How sad to think that a house filled with family,etc is now empty and we have the memories to cling to.
Sending you love and hugs.....Donna

sweet locus lane farm said...

Amy I lost my Dat in March. It was the hardest loss in my life. He was my best friend, my first love. I could finish any sentence he started even in the end when dementia took hold of his mind. He was a master in mathematics and it was hard to see his mind go so. Now I have Mum to look after and we are on opposite of the planet. It is hard. Its been months and I still wake in the middle of the night seeing my Dat, all different stages of his life.

My heart goes out to you as your grieve right now. It is hard. But life goes on, caring for family and things that are important in our life.

I think for me is remember to take the time to show things to our children that become lasting impressions on them. For me it is teaching them to cook, knit,sew. Being patient and finishing something special with them so there are lasting memories of fun times, rather then the sick elderly years.

Thank-you for sharing your thoughts on these issues and posting them on the forum. It makes use real and remember that others are going through the same issues.

Contrary Farmgirl

prairieharmony said...

Though I am just now able to reply to your comments, I read each and every one and want you to know how much I appreciate each and every one of you for reaching out to me in the depths of my sorrow. Each day is still a journey and the littlest things bring sorrow in the least expected times. I know that I am not alone in mourning the loss of a parent and so deeply appreciate each of you sharing your experience with loss and the love you have for your loved ones and parents with me. It helps me so very much and I appreciate each and every one of you for your love and kindness during this deeply painful time in my life. (((hugs)))