As I took a moment to look, I realized how many ideas, hopes, and dreams are at the end of that lane. The possibilities are endless and just waiting, and I realized though I'm trying to fight it because we are in the very beginning stages of remodeling, that I am growing impatient to get the inside finished...because I am finally getting excited about being here. I felt the return of a familiar feeling looking down that lane.
You see, today I have been struggling with missing my dad more than I have for a while. I am making remodeling plans and this is something we did together, when I sat at the end of the lane, I discovered that the familiar feeling I was feeling was the return of happiness! I thought I would never again experience true happiness. Not laughter necessarily, but the feeling that stays with you, that quiet feeling in your heart, the lightness of your chest. That kind of happiness. Only later tonight when my sister called did she ask me if I realized today was six months since dad had passed. I had no idea. All day today I have written the wrong date! I don't dwell on it or count down the days, but the date had I been correct would have registered with me. How fitting on the anniversary of a wonderful man who taught me all he knew about life, encouraged me to "live, go out there and live" I again discover the feeling of happiness. If you were blessed to know my dad, you knew how happy and joyful he was, always a contagious smile. He was deeply sentimental, loving, and passionate about life and his family. I have seen him cry tears of sorrow, and tears of joy right along with me. I feel his presence with me as I slowly learn to live life without him here, and remember what he thought about life and instilled in me. He thought life was too short to be down and depressed that we should live, sing, be joyful, enjoy life, go outside, get some fresh air, enjoy nature, he couldn't stand to be "cooped up in the house" as he would say. He would also say "live for today", "all you can do is your best", "the Bible never says we are promised tomorrow." As I slowly heal and allow myself to experience life and live for today, I know he would be happy too. I know as well how important it is to experience life as fully as possible.
As you go about your day, I wish you all the happiness in life, and unlimited possibilities.