Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Elusive House in the Country and a Big Dose of Patience

Excuse me as I bear my soul, my heartache of heartache but I walk around daily with my hopes dashed and my heart sagging as I wait not so patiently I must admit for that elusive house in the country to appear in our lives.  I have tried to avoid blogging about it but realized that I am not the only one with this dream and at times the only thing that has gotten me through being thoroughly heartbroken over not realizing this dream is reading about others that are putting one foot in front of the other and waiting it out... the same as I am.  I have such a variance of emotions over this topic.  Mostly I feel that I am going to loose my mind waiting...
Yes, at times the feeling of frustration is in part what has kept me from blogging, I lack the enthusiasm to try and share new ideas and that is simply not the way to go about life.  Somehow my domestic side feels less enthused about making soaps, growing a garden and all the mending and cooking that I normally enjoy, while we are still living in town.  It might have something to do with the romantic notion of feeling more like a pioneer and less like a cooped up city gal when living in the country.  I feel like I'm out of place and not fulfilling my calling in town, like a fish out of water, going through the motions and trying to breath until someone tosses me back into the pond and saves me.... until then, I'm trying to be enthusiastic about trying more things, and spending my time preparing and learning all the things that I have been waiting to try until I am where my heart and soul wants to be.  I feel so strongly that everything in life happens for a reason and my plate would honestly be so full of things that I want to learn all at once to live the lifestyle I wish to live once we move that I would be overwhelmed.  So this year is a learning year.  I will get through this last year of diligently paying off debts, sticking with the plan, and freeing up expenses for what is important and learning and exploring all that I can so that when the time is right I am ready.  Next spring I hope to be singing a different song!  I hope that as I work through this year in preparation for moving that I can be encouraging to those that feel their goal is as elusive as I feel.... the only other option is spending my time in a pity party wishing time to go by and that is not an option.  Life is precious and you will never get the moments wallowing in self pity back so I choose to use them to my advantage no matter how bummed out I feel!  I'm going to think of this time like a pregnancy...I spent that time in extreme anticipation but cherished each day that I was able to prepare and learn for the arrival of my sweet baby to arrive.  This time I will be preparing and learning new ways and methods in preparation of my dream home and lifestyle.  So if like I you are waiting...chin up, we have lots to learn and we can do this!!! :)


Anonymous said...

I hopped over from Down to Earth & this post caught my eye & it struck a chord in me. I just love your attitude!! How inspiring!! :-) Lynne from NY

prairieharmony said...

Thank you so much Lynne. I am really glad that you stopped by and are enjoying the blog. Have a wonderful day :)